The Perfect Christmas Present

There it is, the perfectly wrapped present, it’s taunting me, laughing at me, placed to the left of our overly decorated Christmas tree. It’s just sitting there, away from all the other gifts, it doesn’t need their approval, out there on its own glowing in its pristineness. What’s in it?! “What is in you present” I shout internally expecting a telepathic response from the inanimate object. I have been up since exactly 4.37 am this Christmas day morning to see if Santa had been, and to my delight he had! After about an hour of investigative work (lots of shaking, tapping and smelling), I have deciphered what all the other presents conceal, they don’t interest me further, in fact they bore me. But this one, this one elusive one has got me. It’s wrapped in blue and red paper, with pictures of holly randomly dotted around it, decorated with a tanker full of glitter and a gold frilly bow. It’s not an odd shape, it’s just a box, no clues there. It can’t be the etch-a-sketch I asked Santa for as that’s over there in that present, it’s not the game I wanted as that’s the green wrapped gift in the corner, and it’s not a bike because that is in the bike shaped one over there by the fireplace. I think so hard as to what it could be that a vain pops out of my forehead. I contemplate ripping the corning of the secret gift, just enough to see any clues as to what it could be, but I know if my parents saw any corner rips I would immediately be put on the naughty list next year. I have to wait for my parents to wake up before I can open any, my older sister didn’t do this one year and opened everything on her own…the epic telling off that ensued is still embedded into my brain to this day. The only option I have now is to make some noise (accidentally of course) to wake my parents up, it’s 5.57 am anyway, they should be up, it’s Christmas after all! I come up with a plan, a plan which would not get me into trouble and also wake my family up! Mwahahahaha! I grab the cats laser pen and sneak upstairs, I crawl along the floor to my parents room and quietly creak open their door. I shine the laser pen onto the duvet where my mum was sleeping, our cat George was already in kill mode, watching the red dot with wide predator eyes. What ensued was both funny and terrifying, I never thought George could be that energetic…lets just say my plan worked. After my dad had put antiseptic on the wounds on his arm where George had attacked ferociously thinking it was an extension of the red laser dot, my parents came down stairs with me to open the presents, finally! We left George on the end of my parents bed cleaning, he was pleased with his mornings work. I stumble down the stairs in front of my mum and I see my nemesis! It’s still sat there smirking at me in all of its red and blue glitteriness. I rush over to the tree slide tackling the other presents out of the way to get to the only one I desire. I bend over to grab it, almost falling into the tree as I did so. I plonk myself on the floor and take one last final look before ripping off the paper in a frenzy! I throw all the paper to one side and tear off the lid. The suspense was unbearable as I peer inside, it’s giving me goosebumps…and it is…pants…PANTS! I don’t mean it was a pants present either, I literally mean the mystery box contained underwear, the present that I could not work out was pants. I look at my mum as she gleefully smiles down at me,
“Santa knows that every little boy loves new Christmas pants. Merry Christmas sweetheart”.
I smile back at her as I go for one of the other presents I have already probed this morning, “at least I know about the etch-a-sketch” I thought to myself as I open said present…more pants! It’s just more pants! Touché Santa, touché.

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