Stuck

“Two items, one pair of jeans and one top” I say to the smiley changing room attendant.
“No worries” she states while handing me a MASSIVE white plastic tag and directing me to door number 3, it’s like a game show: lets see what’s behind door number 3! I make my way to the changing room, shutting and locking the door behind me. I never really understood the doors in these places, they only cover your middle bit anyway, but because I am quite tall the mini saloon door barely covers my personal jiggly bits. I wiggle the dress I am wearing over my head and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, crap! I am wearing my really old, very unattractive yellow bra and pants which are basically falling apart, why didn’t I chuck them out last time I wore them (but to be honest, I said that the time before when I wore them as well). Right then, I have to be quick here, especially as everyone can see my top half over the ‘private’ changing room gate. I fling my dress over the door and begin the battle to try the jeans on, just putting my foot through one leg was a struggle so I am fully prepared for a fight. I get one leg up to my thigh with a lot of grunting and huffing, I am knackered, are these my size? I check the label and to my disappointment they are…or were my size at least. ‘I thought these were supposed to be that stretchy material stuff’, I think to myself as I start to panic slightly, it’s a real possibility that I get stuck in these things…aaannnddd, now I don’t need to worry about possibly getting stuck because I now realise that I fully am. I stand up to stretch my back from hunching over for what seemed like hours, sweaty and flustered I calm myself down as I try and think of a way to get out of this situation. Right, firstly lets put my dress back on so I am not flashing my horrible underwear to the world, then I can go out and explain to the attendant what’s happen…wait a minute, where is my dress?! I put it on the door, I am sure I draped it over the door! I frantically look around the small room, scanning every inch which doesn’t take long, it’s definitely not in here. I peer over the changing door to see if it has fallen onto the floor somewhere, but I don’t need to scan the ground, my dress has been put on the return rack, the attendant must have thought I didn’t want the dress which is why I draped it over the door. Jesus! I can’t go and get it, not with my leg stuck in some jeans and this underwear on! Think Jenna, think…I know, I will put the top on I have, then at least I can run to the attendant without making too much of a fool of myself, then explain the situation. Done, Jenna you are a goddamn genius! I grab the top and shove it over my head, too quickly it would seem as I put both my arm and my head through the head hole…hmmm, this is a little tight, just stay calm, you got yourself in this situation you can get yourself out. I start trying to contort my body, trying my hardest to wriggle out of the new mess I got myself into…oh no, I am stuck twice, stuck squared if you like! I look like the statue of liberty with my arm raised into the air…that is if she had a bright yellow top basically strangling her, exposing the most awful underwear while having the blood circulation cut off from her left leg from the tightest jeans known to man! I have to go and ask for help, I am literally going to pass out from this constricting clothing if I don’t go and ask for help. This has gone beyond embarrassing now but if I don’t get assistance, I could faint. Who knew jeans and a top could put you in a sleeper wrestling move, watch out John Cena! I unlock the door and waddle out, honestly the only thing which could make this worse is if I see my crush Dan, but what would be the odds of that?!
“Jenna is that you?”
I freeze…that sounded like Dan…I slowly shuffle around to have my worst fears confirmed, its him! For the love of god, WHYYYYYY?!?!

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